You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
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