Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
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