PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Randomize
