do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Of course I have a pirate flag
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
