Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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