Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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