i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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