Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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