I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Just invented taco cereal.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize