I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
