I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
