I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
