Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
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