I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
