I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
