and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
