i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
