we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I could fuck to npr.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
