the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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