who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
