I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
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Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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