He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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