im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
