Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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