garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize