Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I currently don't understand fingers.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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