just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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