Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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