i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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