imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
