nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
i think im in europe. pls send help
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