I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
