I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
My liver just had a heart attack.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
