I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
