even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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