At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
