I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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