And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
God I need to hump something, right now.
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