Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
