I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
The convent might be a nice break from real life
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
