you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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