u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
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