I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
