she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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