69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
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