So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
