Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
