I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
People with herpes should wear stickers.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
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