the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize