I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
