I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
