She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize