Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
