so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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