God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
