girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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