Its about making memories worth repressing
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
