I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
