you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
